Yet when the summit proves a barren peak
How heavy and hollow the insides feel
Another ambition becomes the target
The burden becomes heavier and a slight crack reveal

The recognition; the cash; the glory
That spark to push through the gray
But when forced to put all of that down
Who lights your lantern in the dark at the end of the day

How we forget the things of joy
The laughs with friends, a book, a trail
Rediscovery of things undone
Abandoned while chasing success in the eyes of man

Broaden out the borders of the mind
Step away from the goals and experience life
Sometimes the joy that was hard to find
Is found when stepping from this rat race

For it is my shelter from the storm

It sheds the tears that I will not drop

Words reflecting the cries that come from my soul

Scribbling away as my thoughts are scattered

Finding flow in the chaos around

The doctor said I should journal

But journaling unmasks me in front of all

Standing completely naked

I question who are you to judge

Have we not all sinned or done something foolish

Has perfection been a constant in the lives of us all?

Happiness, Sadness, and pure disgust

We feel it deep within

How we decide to digest poison

At times reflect how we digest the sweet

I write my thoughts on paper

Ink flowing from my pen

My absent voice speaks loud and clear

In my solitude it cannot be contained

Regurgitating my feelings

I face it all in front of me

It is true that in order to master oneself

You have to face what lies beneath

For growth is found in adversity
Appreciation is gained from your ups and downs
Life will make us smile at times
Life will also make us frown

Rain and dark days won’t last forever
But they make you not take for granted the sun
If happiness was so abundant that it was the only feeling we had
We would eventually all become numb

Sunshine all the time makes the desert
But sunshine and shadows makes a rich and meaningful life
Embrace all aspects of your journey
For joys and sorrows balance life

I will answer your question about how you think things will be
When we one day in the future each have our last first date

The conversation will be flowing
Of course we would have some drinks
Share adventures and our hobbies
Speak of religion and our strengths

We will have bright eyes when we speak of our goals and how they can intertwine
It is great to have someone who is happy to see the twinkle in your eyes

Dinner will be over
And the conversation would move on
Walking down the city streets with no coats
Our joy is keeping us warm

A night that passed so fast
Can’t wait to see you again

I have a feeling this is how it will be
A last first date we will share

A marvel of true artwork
One that you claimed to need

You placed it on a pedestal
But one day watched it drop

You put together the pieces
Because to you it still is art

You revel at its glory
Gloat about it to your friends

But never take the time to dust it off
As seasons change

A beauty but yet forgotten
What is the point in holding on

You captured this rare beauty
But lost desire as time moved on

Let you believe what you see

Act against my own self interest

Hide behind the mask of me

I can be all tough and strong

Let you fear the words I say

Act against my true feelings

Hide my heart behind a stone of so-called hate

I can be the greatest protector

Walls so big and strong

Acting as the greatest fortress

That you and I have ever saw

I could hide that I love you

Pretend it is something that isn’t true

But what is the point of being so prideful

That I end up losing you

I can pretend like I have done before

Let you believe what you see

Act against my own self interest

Hide behind the mask of me

The mask that was meant to protect me

The mask that traps me but also sets me free

I am protected by my mask

But it may prevent me from obtaining what I truly seek

“Pride can be a virtue, but it needs to be the right kind of pride. Too much pride can cost you everything.  But no pride at all means no self respect and no value. “

I will believe every word that you say

I will listen to our disagreements

And take the words really in

I will speak my peace so calmly

I will let my words ring true

I will cast aside my pride

I will communicate with you

I will be vulnerable in that moment

I will let my walls completely down

I will take all of the punches

I will cry and not back down

I will work towards a resolution

I will grant you grace in this time

I will recognize the wrongs I have done

I will attempt to fix it somehow

I will communicate even though it is hard

I will let you speak without interruption

I will let your words pierce my heart

I will not give up until I am certain

Certain that we have expressed ourselves fully

Certain that I have shown myself fully unclothed

Certain that I have extended myself fully

Certain that I have given you my all

I understand that we will not always be on the same page

I know that difficulties will arise in life

But I want to work through the ups and downs

Because ups and downs are a part of life

But…

One day I will believe you

I will believe every word that you say

And even though it is hard to take in

I’ll figure out how to make a way

“Arguments are a part of life. However, it is important to be mindful of the words that you use. Sometimes we may use harsh words in that moment because of how we currently feel, but those words can one day become the truth in another’s ears. ” – Monica Renata

Especially when it comes in large gulps

Drowning in your own misery

That you have somewhat caused

Yet no matter how low one may go

They can always rise up

But you decide to stay low

You have simply given up

Your skin reflects your feelings

You no longer have a glow

Hair disheveled

Clothes are stained

You look a fricking mess

I could sit here and lecture you

Tell you that bad times don’t last forever

But what is the point in wasting my words

on someone who lives in a state of dying

For too long you have sat in that corner

You have let worry and doubt fill your head

You have given up on your joys

You choose to see the negatives instead

The love that you receive

You reject every single ounce

The friendships that you have in life

You neglect them until they phase out

You cry and voice your frustrations

Yet you refuse to make a change

You do the same things over and over again

Perhaps you are insane

And here I am once again

Because I actually care and have love for you

I am here to listen and be there

But I get tired too

I wish you saw that rope of hope

That dangles in your face daily

I wish you believed in yourself

I wish you believed in your abilities

I am here and I am giving my all

And unfortunately, I am realizing this isn’t enough

I can assist

But I can’t save you

You must finally save yourself

Remember the rope of hope that God threw to us to hang onto. There were three strands to that rope:

1. First, there was God’s person (the reminder of who he is and his character; of his power and love and faithfulness that never change).
2. Then, there were God’s past deeds (the reminder of the things God did in history that prove he is faithful, and strong, and reliable: We know what he did from the Bible, from the lives of the saints, and from our own lives and the lives of people we know).
3. Finally, the third strand is God’s promises, his plan. As it says in the very first paragraph of the Catechism, God has a “plan of sheer goodness.” He created us to share in his blessed life and has made many firm promises that we can count on, to help us to get there.

Faith in those three things together—God’s person, his past deeds, and his promised plan—came together in a strong, three-stranded cord that gave us something to hang onto. It lifted our eyes off the problem and became a lifeline of hope that didn’t depend on the outcome but on God.

https://comeintotheword.com/faith-and-the-rope-of-hope/

In hopes that you would soon walk in

In the mind there are no pure thoughts

Yet curiosity still remains

The door was left wide open

Yet we both are afraid to see

What could be behind this door

Could it be happiness or grief

Flashbacks run through the mind

As we think about times we took steps in

Some times were good and some times were bad

Yet still we remained friends

The door remains wide open

This time I remain still

For fear has stiffened my movement

I am a prisoner to my own fear

One of the same we are it seems

Too prideful to admit defeat

Prisoner with the Open Door

The role we both fight to play the lead

Reminds me of a few things

Not long ago it was just one snowflake that stood out so brightly to me

But as time has gone by the snowflakes fell more than they did before

And now on the asphalt is a sprinkle of white

We are wasting time as we grow old

“Life doesn’t last forever. Don’t let life past you while you are still trying to make up your mind.” – Monica Renata