Keep Hoping

noun: hope; plural noun: hopes
a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.
he looked through her belongings in the hope of coming across some information

Hope………Don’t give up hope……….
We always seem to tell this to others, but what does this really mean? After all, you can’t tell someone not to give up hope, when you know not what they went through in order to feel that all that hope that they once had is now gone…I had a desire for something to happen, I dreamt about it day and night, for days, months, even years… and here I am…still hoping……but why?

Each ounce of hope is quickly diminished by disappointments, yet I try to keep it alive but it is hard. It is so hard to see things that you want so desperately continually fall apart in your face. Yes, you wanted this so much…you may have felt as if you deserved it… you hoped for it….but in the end you never got it.

It’s crazy how you can have a dream…… towards your dream…..and then watch someone murder that dream….and  yet, they are usually the one who says “Don’t give up hope!”….You want me to not give up but every single time that I am working so hard to achieve what I so desire you constantly tear me down with your negativity, you disappoint me with your actions, and then I become a shell of who I truly am….and I feel like…. there is no hope….it won’t happen for me… it just won’t.

When all is lost… Should you give up hope?…………

The answer is NO. We all have desires in life! We all want certain things to happen, and truth be told THEY CAN HAPPEN. Sometimes we let the negativity of others hold us back. But why? Who are they to tell us that  we can not do something? Who are they to tell us that we are not good enough? Who are they to tell us that we want too much? People always want to talk, but why let their talking determine your decisions in life? If you want something GO GET IT! If you decide to give up on it make sure that this was a choice that you solely made! Give up when you wanted to give up, not when something told you that you can’t do it.

This morning, I woke up feeling defeated. I felt like everything I ever wanted would just slip through my fingers as it has in the past. And then when I felt that way I was slammed down by more disappointment… and in that instant I put my head down and I slowly said to myself  “I give up…What’s the point of hoping for something that will never be?”….. I sat for about ten minutes and in that moment of solidarity I felt as if it was me against the world… I felt like there was no hope in hoping because ….. I mean… what’s the point???……….

What is the freakin point!!!???

Well…. the point of it all is…. I want it……And if I truly want something I should not give up on it! Mama didn’t raise a quitter!!!! I know that I am rambling on and stuff….but I just want you to know that sure sometimes it seems like all hope is lost…but at the end of the day hope is only lost if you allow it to be lost. Never give up on something you truly want! You will live to regret it. And when I am 85 sitting on my front porch I do not want to regret a thing about my life!

So keep hoping!!!!!! I know I will! 🙂

Have a great day!!!!