I am afraid to have feelings
Because I learned that feelings hurt
So instead I smile everyday so brightly
And pretend like I’ve never been hurt
I hold in my joys and excitement
I do not reveal my true pain
For in my mind to others I don’t matter
And I’m the only one who cares about me
My heart may beat profusely
In my stomach may be butterflies
My eyes may be heavy
From the tears I refuse to cry
And inside I’m a stone cold soldier
I pretend that nothing bothers me
Feelings leave just a small pain in my chest
That will soon be relieved
Relieved by things that really don’t matter
Relieved by money and drives in my car
But no matter how much I pretend it doesn’t hurt
It always leaves a scar
I am afraid to have feelings
That is an awfully frightening thing
For I’m so afraid to get hurt
That when it comes to love I don’t feel a single thing
“Don’t become so afraid to get your feelings hurt that that fear keeps you from being truly happy. Fear can deprive you of the simple things in life…” –Monica Renata