Afraid To Have Feelings


I am afraid to have feelings

Because I learned that feelings hurt

So instead I smile everyday so brightly

And pretend like I’ve never been hurt

 

I hold in my joys and excitement

I do not reveal my true pain

For in my mind to others I don’t matter

And I’m the only one who cares about me

 

My heart may beat profusely

In my stomach may be butterflies

My eyes may be heavy

From the tears I refuse to cry

 

And inside I’m a stone cold soldier

I pretend that nothing bothers me

Feelings leave just a small pain in my chest

That will soon be relieved

 

Relieved by things that really don’t matter

Relieved by money and drives in my car

But no matter how much I pretend it doesn’t hurt

It always leaves a scar

 

I am afraid to have feelings

That is an awfully frightening thing

For I’m so afraid to get hurt

That when it comes to love I don’t feel a single thing

 

“Don’t become so afraid to get your feelings hurt that that fear keeps you from being truly happy. Fear can deprive you of the simple things in life…” –Monica Renata